TONGUE-IN-CHEEK ALASKANA
If I were the supreme commander of a highly advanced but malevolent alien race intent on conquering Earth, I wouldn’t just send in a fleet of starships and start blasting away with paratrethiconic quantum phased lithmogrium bursts. Why, these primitive humans might not appreciate… Continue Reading “Dream Apps”
I don’t know why I’m such a sucker for the “handy tips” routine. I should know better by now. These insidious tips always appear to come from innocent appearing sources: a cute e-mail from an old friend, a slightly damaged book on the discount… Continue Reading “Terrible Tips”
I wish someone would pass a law making it illegal for anyone to own or operate a vehicle unless their name is identical to the one on my Driver’s License. Although at first glance, that may seem a little extreme, I am convinced that… Continue Reading “Road rage”
By George M. Hosier II Listen my children and you shall hear Of the arctic ride of Raul Pevere, In middle of winter, of seventy-five; How the man did ever survive Is a secret we’ll never know, I fear. He said to his wife,… Continue Reading “Raul Pevere’s Ride”
I used to read a lot when I was a kid. Some of my favorite stories were about horses. Ironically, Ernest Hemingway was one of my favorite authors. I always resented the fact that Hemingway hadn’t written more about horses, and less about more… Continue Reading “The Old Man and the White Filly”
It gnaws at me the way a mouth full of canker sores feels when you’re eating a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. With each breath, I inhale the poisonous memories of treachery and betrayal. The one I have taken in and cared… Continue Reading “Vehicular Homicide”
The winter Olympics are commandeering a lot of news time lately. It’s a great thing, competition and all. Training hard, facing formidable odds, bringing home the gold for your country, abusing steroids—these are epic deeds and certainly newsworthy. I don’t begrudge those spandex-wearing, ridiculously… Continue Reading “Hooding”
The Alaska State Birds seem to be extra friendly around my house this year. Cute little fellows, aren’t they—and so musical too? At least once a day I can’t resist being a captive audience to one of their concerts. It fascinates me how tame… Continue Reading “Blood Brothers”
Persistent rivulets of icy rainwater had breached the narrow gap between my shivering neck and my poncho collar. Having slid inside, they were now gleefully chasing each other down the spinal causeway indented into the goose-bumped surface of my back. Soon they would join… Continue Reading “Where the Salmon Run Deep”
DATE / TIME MARK: 8-899^120*096 (estimated) FROM: sQreev-Y, Prime Sentient Component of Transgalactic Probe tYx^951*332. TO: sWomglu-K, Coordinating Overseer of pRuglugrion Scientific Exploration Bureau. RE: Long-range data compilation mission to rWezik Galaxy / Sector DdF^893. PREFACATORY NOTE: Please accept my regrets for the inefficiency… Continue Reading “Aliens”