Tag: Humor

Dad’s Tools

“Hey, Dad!  Can I borrow your drill?” The unexpected sound of my son’s pubescent voice derailed my concentration from the excruciatingly maddening task of replacing a fluorescent bulb in my bathroom.  I had ignored my wife’s pleas for several weeks in the hope that… Continue Reading “Dad’s Tools”

The Three Moosketeers

A grey September moon hung suspended above the mist-shrouded tundra.  Gnarled black spruce, like wary sentinels, defined the twilit horizon.  Knowing the treachery of the times, I cleverly traced a circuitous route toward the secret trysting spot, doubling back several times, and moving in… Continue Reading “The Three Moosketeers”

GroundHog Day

“Good morning, handsome!” It was February 1, and my alarm had barely stopped beeping.  With a groan, I pried apart my heavy eyelids to peer blearily at my wife who was hovering over me with a cherubic grin.  She planted a big juicy smackaroo… Continue Reading “GroundHog Day”

The Arctic Death Squeeze

The brisk weather we’ve been experiencing lately here in Interior Alaska has been a wonderful learning experience.  Hopefully it has taught my friends and neighbors a thing or two–especially my neighbor, Bing Snudlick.  People get complacent when the weather is too warm.  However, at… Continue Reading “The Arctic Death Squeeze”

The Diet

I had an argument with my wife the other day.  It was during a nutritionally balanced breakfast of wild Alaskan blueberry hotcakes smothered in butter with birch syrup, Eggs Benedict smothered in Hollandaise sauce with caribou sausage and extra thick cut bacon, and grits… Continue Reading “The Diet”

The Spirit of Christmas

It was the early 1980’s.  That year, yet another new schoolteacher had moved into the modular housing unit that the school district had parked on skids behind the ramshackle log and plywood structure which served as the Moose Hole Community Center and Village Council… Continue Reading “The Spirit of Christmas”

Dream Apps

If I were the supreme commander of a highly advanced but malevolent alien race intent on conquering Earth, I wouldn’t just send in a fleet of starships and start blasting away with paratrethiconic quantum phased lithmogrium bursts.  Why, these primitive humans might not appreciate… Continue Reading “Dream Apps”

Terrible Tips

I don’t know why I’m such a sucker for the “handy tips” routine.  I should know better by now.  These insidious tips always appear to come from innocent appearing sources:  a cute e-mail from an old friend, a slightly damaged book on the discount… Continue Reading “Terrible Tips”

A Nation Asleep

There comes a point in the evolution of any great civilization which marks the apex of its rise.  That, of course, is a good thing.  This culminating moment of pomp, glory, power, and dignity will be the standard by which its character is remembered… Continue Reading “A Nation Asleep”

Road rage

I wish someone would pass a law making it illegal for anyone to own or operate a vehicle unless their name is identical to the one on my Driver’s License.  Although at first glance, that may seem a little extreme, I am convinced that… Continue Reading “Road rage”